Categories
Happiness Mentoring Self Managed Company

“THANK YOU”, the Most Important Words in Human Language?

Thank You for Reading my Blog

“Thank you for reading this article, it means a lot to me.”

“Thank you for visiting SavvyBrain.com, I hope you find it useful and informative.”

See what I mean, it just feels good to be thanked. No matter where you are a sincere thank you means a lot to your friends, family, co-workers and customers. As with anything there is a right and wrong way to say thank you. In this article I hope to give you tips and ideas that will take your thank you message to the next level.

Start with being grateful for what you have.

If you are truly grateful for what you have, saying thank you becomes easy. For many of us, your job includes the task of going out and thanking customers. For some this task is a chore. The result is a half assed thank you message, honestly you are almost better off not talking to the customers at all.

If you think about it your customers are one of the main reasons to be thankful, because their buying power is your business. The best Thank You’s are a sincere and grateful sharing of positive attention. I suggest that you do the following:
1. Before you begin to say thank you, think of why you are saying it. Then share the why with your customer, friend or co-worker.

“Ted, Thank you so much for coming in today, we really hope we have exceeded your expectations.”

2. Shake hands and hold eye contact while saying thank you.

“Laurie, you really did a great job on that report. Thank you for making my job so easy, you are a awesome person.”

3. Listen to them after the thanks. This maybe basic, but I see it all the time at restaurants where the manager is required to say thank you, but then does not stick around to actually listen to the customers concerns.

Say Thank You in Public.

Saying thank you in a meeting or at a party for the whole group to hear has the added bonus of positive peer pressure. Great managers reprimand in private and congratulate in public. The same holds true at family gatherings.

“Everyone, I just want to say thanks to my wife Mary for preparing this awesome meal. She has a knack of whipping up a dinner for 20 without breaking a sweat. Thanks Hon.”

It is Never to Late to Say Thank You!

When weeks go by, it feels weird to send a card of thank you, but in reality it is never to late. I recently received a thank you after a year and quite frankly it was a relief because I was feeling a little under appreciated. You simply start by saying things like. “This thank you is long overdue, what you did for my family in May was over the top” or “a month has past since you visited me in the hospital, and upon reflection, your visit meant a lot to me.” You get the idea.

Why a thank you note should always be hand written?

Everyone loves a hand written note, especially if it is hand written. I use a blue pen as a rule and usually type out what I’m going to write first so I can get the feel and spelling right. I have ruined many nice cards before I made this step a rule.

• Nice card stock is another important factor. I like to go to Ollie’s Bargain Outlet, because sometimes you will get lucky and find amazing card stock at the $1-5 price range.
• Use blank card stock. I know there are lovely thank you cards out there but the idea of a true hand written thank you should be in the body of the letter not on the cover.
• Three Sentences is a rule that I have used for many years. Just writing the words Thank You and posting it does not convey a true thank you. Put some thought into it.
Example:
“Emily,
The wedding gift you and Mike gave us was so thoughtful and caring. Every time we have a glass of wine using your glassware, we will be thinking of you.
We really enjoyed your company at the reception, and the kind word you said about us during dinner was over the top.
You are a true friend, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for us.
Your pal,
Sally”

Use Only Positive Sentence Structure.

Bad example: “Thank you for dinner, sorry I was late.” Wrapping a thank you letter with an apology is not good etiquette in my opinion. Simply stick to the positive of the thank you and keep the sentences uplifting.

“The dinner was so nice and the restaurant was amazing. Thanks for taking me there on my birthday, you are so thoughtful. Love K.”

Sign with a flourish:

John Hancock is still famous hundreds of years later because his signature was so flamboyant. Don’t be afraid to add your own flare to your signature line. Don’t take the look of your signature for granted.

What are some thank you gift ideas?

1. Gift cards: Gift cards are a sort of sterile way to say thank you. Lets say you are looking for a gift for your child’s teacher or babysitter. While I think gift cards are the “Safe” gift, they do not elicit the appreciation you are trying to convey. Gift cards for me are a way to help someone out. An example of this is: a Wegmans gift card to someone who just lost her husband and is struggling to pay the bills.

Smiles all around when you give flowers2. Flowers: You really can’t go wrong with flowers, especially if you have them delivered. The important thing is the note, make sure you get the extra pop from saying the right words on the card.
3. The Spa: Giving the gift of being pampered is truly a great gift because it has special feeling of caring that many gifts do not give. It is important to make sure that the spa is close to their work or home. Use the Spa gift as a great apology gift or as a belated gift because the wow factor is priceless.
4. Personalized Stationary: Everyone loves stationary and if you take the time to personalize it with their name or with a quote that they use, they will be thrilled.
Wine: If they are of drinking age, wine is an awesome gift. I like to go on line and look up the winery and find something special to say about the winery or blend. You can even print out the about us page from their site and include it with the bottle. If you are looking for that $100-ish gift, a case of wine can be a great WOW. I like to find wines in wooden cases that sell for $9-$12 per bottle then after the case discount, we are right at the $100 level.

20 Awesome Ways to Say Thank You!

1. If it weren’t weird, I would have sent you a picture of myself. Because I look totally grateful right now.
2. Great gooey gratitude. Thanks so much for your gift!
3. This Thank You is So Important I’m not sending it from my iPhone.
4. You are my superhero. Thank You.
5. Two words: Endless gratitude & Thank you. Ok four words.
6. You score phenomenally high in the kind-o-meter. Seriously, I checked.
7. Your version of shine is a searchlight. Thanks for spreading so much good.
8. You’re kind of a big deal. Don’t believe me? Ask anyone.
9. You = awesome. Me = grateful.
10. Move over Gates and Buffett, there’s a new philanthropist in town, thanks for the donation.
11. Start practicing your autograph, you’re a RockStar
12. Thank you kindly for your gift.
13. Amazed. Inspired. Grateful. That’s how your generosity makes me feel.
14. When it comes to making an impact, you rule.
15. Thanks for igniting something amazing.
16. a) A peach b) Bee’s knees c) Cat’s pajamas. You’re d) All of the above. Thanks for your bigheartedness.
17. You’re what making a difference looks like.
18. You’re a lifesaver. Literally. And thanks for believing in someone you don’t even know.
19. Is there no limit to your awesomeness? Thank you!
20. You can’t see me but I’m totally doing a happy dance.

There is a word for thanks in every language.

Categories
Happiness Mentoring

Be positive, you have a great life

Look for a better wayThere is always something to be thankful for:

I want to get you into a positive state of mind. I want you to remember that there is always something to be thankful for. No matter what your current life situation is, you can be grateful.

Sometimes it helps to put things in perspective. Remember…
Someone has it harder than you.
Someone has less than you.
Some people seem to have nothing at all…
… yet against all odds they prove to the world that they can achieve anything they desire.

This is what I read to myself whenever I am having and off day.

Signs you are doing better than you think

  1. You are alive.
  2. You are able to see the sunrise and the sunset.
  3. You are able to hear birds sing and waves crash.
  4. You can walk outside and feel the breeze through your hair and the sun’s warmth on your skin.
  5. You have tasted the sweetness of chocolate cake.
  6. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.
  7. You awoke this morning with a roof over your head.
  8. You had a choice of what clothes to wear.
  9. You haven’t feared for your life today.
  10. You have overcome some considerable obstacles, and you have learned and survived.
  11. You often worry about what you’re going to do with your life – your career, your family, the next step, etc. – which means you have ambition, passion, drive, and the freedom to make your own decisions.
  12. You live in a country that protects your basic human rights and civil liberties.
  13. You are reasonably strong and healthy – if you got sick today, you could recover.
  14. You have a friend or relative who misses you and looks forward to your next visit.
  15. You have someone with whom to reminisce about ‘the good old days.’
  16. You have access to clean drinking water.
  17. You have access to medical care.
  18. You have access to the Internet.
  19. You can read.

Shout out to www.marcandangel.com for creating this great listing.

Categories
Mentoring

How Would Obi-Wan Deal with Trouble Customers-Employees?

“These are not the arguments you are looking for!”

these are not the arguements.fw

The rePhrased Photo Copier technique.

Over years we have all heard the line “Repeat their words back to them” as a method to calm down an upset client. I strongly disagree, repeating their complaint can come off as condescending and unnatural as a photocopier. Instead consider a rePhrase  of what the other person says, in other words, put it in your own words.  This makes them realize you’re listening and actually digesting their issues, that your really interested in what they’re saying. It makes them feel validated. Obviously, you don’t want to overdo this, once per complaint is usually a good balance of managing their needs.

Play on the need everyone has to help others.

Start off your conversation with “I need your help.” People don’t like the feeling they get when they don’t help someone out. Think about it which one sounds better, “do this for me” or “Can you help me with this issue?” The words “I need you help” improves your chances of getting your task done and having the other person enjoy the experience of being your “Helper.”

The power of nodding.

A nod is one of the most powerful aspects of body language. You can use it to help others and to help yourself accomplish goals in conversation.

Example: I have been in meetings where half the people in the room are texting and the other half are nodding off. I find that the speaker then starts to struggle, like a comedian that gets no laughs, a tough audience. One thing you can do to resurrect the meeting is ask questions and nod at the replies (so long as you actually agree) if done correctly you will see others in the room give slight nods as well. Be careful not to look like a brown-noser.
This also applies to getting people to agree with you. Its really basic body language: If you want someone to agree with you, nod while you talk. This gets the other person to nod too, and they begin to subconsciously agree with you.

Use body language to determine if people are actually interested in what you are saying.

Look at a single point in the room, nod or look at your watch. If someone is observing you, they will likely mimic you or react at the watch move by asking “Do you need to go?”

The power of their name:

This is one that I personally struggle with; I let my mind move on to the conversation before I take the time to commit their name to memory. You need to pause and repeat the person’s name at least once, then start sentences with their name or end questions with their name. Example; “What do you think of the project Kevin?” Use their name sparingly

Stand to one side when someone is angry.

Being next to someone is a completely different set of body language than standing in front of them. Whenever someone is angry and confrontational just rotate your body slightly so that you are not face to face.  Standing next to him or her you won’t appear as so much of a threat, and they eventually will calm down.

Sit next to people you have trouble with in meetings.

This is a follow up to the last point about standing to one side, never sit across from an adversarial person in a meeting. Find a way to sit to their right. This is the body language equivalent of “we’re buddies” and will usually prevent a percentage of bad karma .

Categories
Mentoring

Dealing with naysayer’s and Innovation Killers

Who are naysayer’s?

One who frequently engages in excessive complaining, negative banter and/or a genuinely poor and downbeat attitude. Naysayers are distinguished by their tendency to consistently view the glass half empty and constantly emphasize the worst of a situation. They have the keen ability to spread their pessimistic attitude to a group of unsuspecting bystanders and encourage others to employ their mindset.

Who are Innovation Killers?

There are innovation killers in your group. You might not notice them because you have over the years grown tolerant of them, but an outsider or an innovator could spot them in a minute. I call innovation killers “that will never work” people because the minute someone comes up with a new idea, these individuals are first to offer up reasons why the new idea “will never work” or “the problem with that is.”

Don’t compare normal debate and healthy discussion with Innovation killers.

Understand this, not every pitch should be accepted by your team. Lets face it the idea of having a team meeting is to get opinions. In fact the best companies have small teams that debate ideas and innovate in very creative ways.

How to Identify “Innovation Champions?”

They are always looking for ways to change or improve things. They get upset with people that want to maintain the status quo. They seek out and fully support almost any kind of risk-taking and innovation. These individuals are essential if you expect to build a competitive advantage.

“Easy to Convincers” are dangerous.

There are people in your group that will agree to any idea that you suggest. Maybe they strongly believe in you or you are their boss. This type of person is worse than the innovation killer, because you are not getting any feedback. Blindly accepting ideas without debate and alteration can be dangerous. If you find that everyone just loves your idea, take the time to form another group with less supporters and see how they like it. Take it out to managers you trust that are not involved in the idea, but could offer insight.

Healthy debate from your team of “Must-Be-Convinced” people

They are comfortable with the status quo but with sufficient arguments and a strong business case, they will support moderate change. Seek out this type of person or manager in your company because they will be your sage advisor and keep your company on task and in line with your mission statement.

Naysayers can ruin innovation if you listen
Naysayers can ruin innovation if you listen

Top 7 Phrases of the Naysayer are:

  1. “That will never work.”
  2. “The problem with that is…”
  3. “That’s OK in theory.. But I have been a ____ for ____ Years and based on my experience, it wont work”
  4. “We have always done it another way.”
  5. “Our team does not like change and some will quit.”
  6. “We tried that before… and it didn’t work.”
  7. “We are different… and it would never work here because it doesn’t fit our culture.”

They are apposed to innovation and ideas that they did not think of.

5 7 ways to deal with Naysayers, Hecklers and Innovation Killers?

  1. Post the list of innovation killer phrases on the wall before your meeting starts.
  2. Start the meeting by announcing that: “While I encourage debate, I will not allow any one person to hijack the meeting.” Look directly at them as you say it.
  3. Don’t engage at all. If you give them time they will pounce and ruin your presentation. Don’t justify yourself, qualify yourself or rationalize with them. You know their advice will be sour and unhelpful, so why give them purchase in the conversation.
  4. Try saying thing like: “Oh” or “Noted” or “Got yea” then continue like they never spoke. Much of the time they will not continue to hackle because they are not getting any feedback.
  5. Try to be positive in a room full of naysayers
    Try to be positive in a room full of naysayers

    Demonstrate the damage they are causing or make a joke out of their antics. Say something like: “This is a no whine zone” or “Really Mickey, that’s what you have to say” smirking. One tactful way is to simply walk up and whisper something in their ear, like “Give me a few minutes to show what I mean” then laugh and continue your meeting.

  6. Postpone them, “Got ya, why don’t we discuss your suggestions after the meeting, are you available at 3:15?”
  7. Encourage “Find a way” teammates. Reward individuals with phrase when they work with you to “Find a way” to make your ideas work. Make heroes out of people who talk about examples of how they seen your idea work or can give you a benchmark starting point where the idea can succeed from.

By Kevin Leigh

Categories
Mentoring Odd Stuff

Top 10 Reasons Smiling is a Superpower

“I will never understand all the good that a simple smile can accomplish” Mother Teresa

smiling is a superpower1. Smiling Boosts our Immune System

You hear about cancer hospitals bringing in clowns and comedians to help put a smile on the face of their patients. This is not just for the fun factor; it is proven in study after study that smiling helps the immune system to work better. When you smile, immune function improves possibly because you are more relaxed. Prevent the flu and colds by smiling.

2. Smiling Changes Our Attitude

Next time you are feeling down, try listening to a comedy channel. (I like Pandora.com, simply pick comedy, then start laughing)  There’s a good chance your mood will change for the better. We now know that smiling can trick the body into helping you change your mood.

3. Happyness Is Contagious

We all know that yawning is contagious, but did you know that smiling is actually more contagious? When someone is smiling they lighten up the room, change the moods of others, and make things happier. Now that I mention it, a laughing person brings smiles all around. A smiling person brings happiness with them. Smile a lot and you will draw people to you.

4. Smiling Relieves Stress

As we get older we small less and less, in fact only 30% smile more than 10 times a day, but children will smile as much as 500 times per day. Stress can really show up in our faces. Smiling helps to prevent us from looking tired, worn down, and overwhelmed. When you are stressed, take time to put on a smile. The stress should be reduced and you’ll be better able to take action.

5. Smiling Makes Us Feel Attractive

“You used to be happy” is a common statement long term couples say to each other. That is because more then you realize we forget to smile at our spouse.  But in more then one study we have learned that we are drawn to people who smile. There is an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what is so good. Frowns, scowls and grimaces all push people away.

6. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive

Try this test: Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It’s hard. When we smile our body is sending the rest of us a message that “Life is Good!” Stay away from depression, stress and worry by smiling

7. Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin

Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural painkillers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.

8. Smiling Lifts the Face and Makes You Look Younger

The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger. Don’t go for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day — you’ll look younger and feel better.

9. Smiling Makes You Seem Successful

Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and more likely to be approached. Put on a smile at meetings and appointments and people will react to you differently.

10. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure

When you smile, there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Give it a try if you have a blood pressure monitor at home. Sit for a few minutes, take a reading. Then smile for a minute and take another reading while still smiling. Do you notice a difference?

How to smile http://www.wikihow.com/Smile

Categories
Mentoring

Be a Mentor not a Tormentor

The fine line between being a coach or a tyrant.

As a manager, holding people accountable is an important task. You can write up procedures and processes until your fingers are sore, but if you don’t follow up to see that your team is actually doing the work, the end is in sight.

“Delegate then investigate” unknown.

All to often though, the manager gets frustrated and over time either gives up on the employee or gets angry.  They find themselves setting standards based on their own work ethic before actually teaching their own work ethic. Then as frustration leads to contempt for the employee, there is no turning back.

Somewhere along the line you have heard the line, “people quit managers not companies”. This statement can be translated to:  “Failing an employee is the number one reason people quit companies.”

“Watch that the Mentor does not becomes the Tormentor” Kevin B. Leigh

All too often we blame the employee before looking at ourselves, and asking:

  • Did we teach them how to do the task or process?
  • Before they left the class or meeting did they actually show you that they can do the task or process?
  • Did you check up the next day to insure that they still know how to do the task or process.
  • Did you investigate their work to be sure that they are actually doing the task or process?

Before the above is complete, you cannot blame your employee. You have to understand that everyone has a different learning curve, and process information in a different way. For many, they have to perform an action over and over to be sure they can do it.

As a former IT guy, I can relate to this.  I was so busy that I don’t stop to actually teach the person how fix or use their computer. Instead I would grab the mouse and just fix the issue, then wonder why our employees called IT on the same issues over and over. It took me quite some time to understand that they needed to be thought how to fix issues so they could fix it later without help. It took me some time to understand, that a true manager does not do the work, he or she teaches others how to do for themselves. Once I understood this I instituted a plan to teach then follow up the next day to see how they where doing. We saw results right away.

The biblical parable about “teaching a man to fish” is so poignant for managers.

 

“Give a man a match, he shall be warm for a moment. Light a man on fire and he shall be warm for a day. Teach him how to make fire and you have changed his life”

 

inspire-teach-changeMore than just teaching them how

For the most part, I would guess that you are pretty good at teaching the team how to do things and my guess is, if you are reading articles like this you must want to succeed. So let me jump to it.

In my humble opinion the secret sauces for mentoring are:

Check up often to be sure they are doing the work

  • Make sure to review with them that you have looked at their performance.
  • Positive feedback is more important then negative. Pick your top 2-5 performers and congratulate them with a specific example of how well they have done. Then identify the bottom 2-5 and again with specific examples show them how to improve.
  • Be sure the bottom performers are actually sticking to the process.
  • Ask the top performers how they have changed the process and update your process using their suggestions.
  • If you are like me, deadlines push my performance to a new level. So use deadlines to your benefit. As a manager
  • Set self-imposed deadlines by putting a required finish date on important tasks. I believe to-do lists without expiration dates are just “someday maybe’s” to quote David Allen of book Getting Thing Done.
  • Even the best salesperson, accountant, programmer or HR person can find himself or herself stagnant on the job. As their managers we need to set new higher goals and create projects for them to achieve. If you can run a 4-minute mile, a good manager would want to see you run it in 3:50.
  • Whatever their task, increase the about of times they do it.
    In hockey (by the way I am not a sports guy at all, so I should not be making sports analogies) one of the things tracked is SHOTS ON GOAL. Find out what are the shots on goal for your employees, and ask for an improvement in that task.

Ask them “when they can expect to have the project done?”

Push their limits

I will write more on this topic over the next few weeks because it really is important to be a great mentor to your team. They really deserve the best from you, and you should require the best from them.

11/13/2011 by Kevin B Leigh kevinleigh.com

Categories
Mentoring

The Smallest Complement Can Change Someone’s Life

A few months back I received a phone call from a person I did not recognize. Lets call him Bob for the sake of this article and his privacy.

Bob said,

Kevin you won’t remember me but many years ago  you changed my life forever

As you can imagine this is not something that you hear every day. So in my moment of surprise my lame response was

“Wow, well thanks, but how?”

He began,

“I was attending a party in 1989 at your house, the High school graduation party you held for your brother who was heading to West Point.”

Slowly I started to return to the memory of the party in question, and I vaguely recalled the group of my brothers friends, all about 18 or 19 year olds attending a party.

He continued,

“You probably won’t remember this but you were talking to me and my girlfriend at the time, for about 10 minutes. When suddenly you said, you guys make a fabulous couple, I love they way you finish each other’s sentences”

I smiled to myself as I remembered the young couple. They had an obvious love for each other; you could tell by the way they looked into each other’s eyes.

“If you remember we talked for a half hour or so, and at one point you said. I think you should get married,”

he said.  Now that, I could not remember, so I asked,

“Did you get married?”

Bob answer was so heart warming,

“Not only did we get married but we now have seven children, and it is all because of you. At the time I was second-guessing my age and the value of dating so young. But you convinced me to keep going. You changed my life for the better and I am in your debt. We are now married over 20 years, and I keep coming back to that point in time as the source of my happiness.”

I almost burst into tears, never have I felt the impact of my words as I did at that moment. Upon reflection, as I get older and my family and team are to depend on me more and more, I realize that my complements or complaints have a deeper impact on them than I ever understood before that call.

The old line;

“Watch your words; they become actions”

comes to mind as I write this article.

 

9/13/2011 by Kevin Leigh